If there's one thing I've learned...

by Dale Malony

DON'T sleep in a tent at a dog show!

If there's one thing I've learned in my time in the dog world, it's DON'T sleep in a tent at a dog show! That is, don't do it unless you actually prefer to skip sleeping altogether and would rather spend the night eavesdropping on canine conversation. If you view it as a time to really tune into their world, uninterrupted by human influence, then go for it. But sleep?

Their banter against the background of night sounds becomes rather surreal after 3-4 hours. What could they be talking about? Are they like us? Are the guys talking about that cute new girl and wondering what lucky stud she'll be bred to? Do they brag about their ring exploits?

Do they complain about the judges? “Can you believe that blind BIS judge put up that lanky bitch with a straight stifle over Mongo? She may side-gait with flash, but from my view she's got skinny cow hocks, no butt, and no pigment on her pads. Sheesh!”

Or do they complain about their handlers? “Doesn't he realize how my feet throw out when he gaits me like that? I don't stand a chance with him! I swear, the next time my handler runs me that fast I'm just gonna stop on a dime and relieve myself half way around ring. I hope I'm in front and make the whole line stumble into each other!”

<> No, tent camping is not a restful weekend accommodation with scores of dogs surrounding you. Better sleep can be had in the backseat of a Chevette at a busy truck stop. If you really want to camp in a tent and actually get some snooze time, it would be wise to first get yourself accustomed to a pack of dogs barking inside your head. Volunteer to tend the dogs on the late shift at your local animal shelter - and bring a cat with you. Once acclimated to the constant roar of the echo chamber, your tent will seem as peaceful as rocking in mama's arms.

Meet "Steel Man In Black" aka "Cash"
I recently learned a litter of puppies can cause sleep deprivation

TALK TALK TALK

If there's one thing I've learned in my time in the dog world, it's that people talk - and I'm not talking about the weather. Dog people talk about other dog people and other dog people's dogs - and not only compliments. One popular subject we might talk about is people who talk about other people behind their backs. I must admit, I find the irony most entertaining! Then we'll move on to juicier stuff... Dog deals gone bad, cheating, hidden health problems, and on and on.

I may sound like I'm criticizing this, but actually I encourage it. What I discourage is for anyone to be shocked by it. Expect it! We certainly are obligated to tell ONLY the truth when we do talk about someone and/or their dogs. You see, talking is crucial! Honest talking - when done properly - is sharing of information rather than gossip or slander.

We wouldn't have a list of people who are suspended from the UKC or know who's hiding problems if people didn't talk. The best way to avoid being upset by what people say about you behind your back is to not give them any juicy dish to talk about in the first place. Honest talking - it's a good thing.

People Are Strange!

If there's one thing I've learned in my time in the dog world, it's that many dog people are “eccentric.” They have highly unique personalities. They're quirky. They do not conform to society norms and they really don't care (if they even know it).

One thing is for certain though when it comes to eccentrics. They will rub some people the wrong way – especially other eccentrics. What to do? Aside from marveling at the show, embrace them! Those people that may annoy you (at least most of them) are actually quite wonderful when you look past their eccentric quirks. There are often reasons why they've become the unique person that they are, and we should be compassionate to that. If you look past the little things that bug you to see the rest of the person inside, you'll probably find someone who genuinely loves many of the same things you do – like dogs.

They're into dogs!

If there's one thing I've learned in my time in the dog world, it's that dog people are into dogs! Frequently they care more about dogs than people. They're not into fashion. They're clothes must only be functional and durable against dog paws, claws, and dirt. Most dog people would rather spend wardrobe money on their dogs.

Dog people don't chit-chat like other people. They're into dogs. Where many people naturally drift into conversations about career, sports, money, etc. Dog people talk dogs. Dog training, dog food, dog breeding, dog health, dog rescue, dog laws, dog news, dog grooming, dog dog dog... What are they into? They're into dogs.

He's doing it the wrong!

If there's one thing I've learned in my time in the dog world, it's that no matter what you are doing, someone will think you're doing it wrong. To think!? I thought golfers were the most likely people on the planet to offer a better way. It can be anything from flea control or poop scooping to caring for a newborn litter, there's always a better way and someone happy to share it with you.

I never realized I didn't know how to hold a leash until I went to a dog show. I swear on my grandmother's grave; I've been taught at least 3 different best ways to hold a leash and I'm sure I'll learn more.

Some people give advice with such amazing kindness that I wish I'd taken notes. I'd pay for a class to learn how to be so gracious and tactful. Others do it with such creatively rude candor that I need a minute to figure out what happened.

At one dog show I was apparently not holding my White Shepherd on a short enough leash. Please take a moment and try to imagine a creative way someone might let you know they think you should hold your leash shorter. Pause for thought.

“Ummm... that's a shepherd, you know?” said the Golden Retriever handler. “Yes, it's a White Shepherd” said I. “It's still a shepherd!” said the Golden Retriever handler as she pulled her dog away from mine.” Hmmm... Think, think... “Oh, I get it” thought I, “Her dog doesn't like shepherds.” Lesson learned: Golden Retrievers attached to cryptic speaking handlers may be dangerous. Hold leash short when around them.

I truly appreciate the advice most people have given me. It's a sharing generosity that is actually one of the things that makes dog people so special. Whether they share their heart with the utmost grace, or use words I can't repeat for this audience, they're really just trying to help – uhh... usually.

Hot Buttons!

If there's one thing I've learned in my time in the dog world, it's that if a subject is worthy of an an opinion, someone will passionately disagree with you over it. Certain topics are hot buttons to trigger hot debate, and “hot debate” can be an understatement. While some subjects are sure to spark a fire, others can make dog people go nuclear right quick. What are some of the subjects that only a pyromaniac would intentionally bring up in mixed company?

Training methods! There are probably more different stances to take about training methods and philosophies than any other single topic in the dog world. Debates on corrections range from whether or not to administer correction, how to correct, at what age to begin corrections, what words to specifically use to correct, and oh my gosh!! Mention electronic collars to some people and you may as well have encouraged genocide. And correcting is just one little facet of training.

FOOD! Dog people are passionate about what they feed. Grocery store kibble vs. specialty kibble vs. fresh. If you want to get an intense discussion going among a diverse group of dog people, ask them how you should feed your dog.

One side says “if your dog doesn't do well on standard grocery store kibble, then you just need to face the fact that there's something wrong with your dog.” Another says the standard foods are made from highly questionable sources and according to highly questionable quality control standards, but premium brand X is fresh and pure and made to the strictest standards.

The fresh food camp says all dry and canned foods are crap! A dog is a carnivore and needs to be fed like one. Anything else is an unforgivable compromise of your dog's health and shortens it's life. They may feed frozen BARF (Biologically Appropriate Raw Food), custom meals from scratch, or just give their dogs fresh chicken - bones and all.

Breeding! My barber volunteers at an animal shelter. She has serious issues with dog breeders. I am a dog breeder and my barber waives sharp objects precariously close to my throat every time I see her. Dog lovers have every right to be concerned that people are intentionally bringing dogs into the world while healthy puppies are being euthanized every day. I am shocked at the numbers myself and feel tremendously obligated to place my puppies in homes that will be committed to them, and certainly not send them to a shelter.

But if all responsible breeders felt the responsible thing is to stop breeding, then all dogs would be from mills, BYB's, and accidental mutts. I love mutts, too, but there is a reason people breed for specific structures and temperaments. Families select specific breeds for specific characteristics, and that can only be reliably found in pure-bred dogs bred by responsible breeders.

Herding Dog's Rule!

If there's one thing I've learned in my time in the dog world, it's that herding dogs rule! Maybe the fact that I'm devoted to White Shepherds (obviously the most noble of all breeds) indicates I might be a wee bit biased, and I do love almost all dogs, but there is something special about the herding breeds and their relationships with people. They were selected to learn who's family and who's not, and to protect family. They have to be smart. They have to be athletic.

And just as special – people who love herding dogs tend to be very fun to know. But hey! I'm just a White Shepherd guy who doesn't even know how to hold a leash!